A separation or divorce alone can be quite challenging, and traumatising let alone the pain of separating from children. Seasonal and festive holidays can be difficult for parents who are separated from their children.
Christmas and festive holidays are often a time for family, food and fun. However, following separation and divorce parents often feel isolated and lonely during festive breaks when compared to the rest of the year as they feel that others around them are enjoying the perfect family time. Parents as well as children are often uncertain as to whether they will get the opportunity to spend the holidays with their children based on their child contact and if so how long will they be able to spend with their loved ones. Such feelings can often cause anxiety, stress and disappointment.
Our family law experts understand that dealing with an ex-partner post separation and divorce can often be quite challenging and difficult. From our years of experience our child law specialists have devised the following strategies to assist you during the festive and holiday season.
It is best to start communication with your ex-partner as early as possible which provides plenty of time to come to an arrangement on child contact over the festive period. This helps to avoid you remaining alone and allows you the time needed to plan ahead and resolve any difficulties which may arise.
If you are not due to have any child contact on Christmas day you can try and arrange a time when it would be suitable and convenient to give your gifts to your children. We understand that parents following a divorce or separation may not be on amicable terms in such instances our child law specialists can assist in acting as a mediator to resolve any differences and assisting you in creating a plan which will enable both parents to maintain contact and enjoy the festivities with their children.
Planning and discussing the holiday and festive period child contact with your former partner early will also provide a sense of security to your children. This enables your children to be aware of where they will be during the holiday period and what they will be able to look forward to.
It is also helpful to try and make long term arrangements for child contact. Again, this allows families to prepare better for Christmas and the festive holidays as each parent will be aware as to when they will have their children for Christmas and can plan their preparations in advance.
It is important that once you and your former partner have formulated a plan that you follow this. Any late changes can often affect the child negatively and cause disruption to them. You must put the children’s needs and wishes at the forefront and ensure the time they will be spending is special to them.
The time spent with children over the festive holidays should be special and memorable. Many separated parents try to outdo each other when it comes to buying presents which can often cause disappointment if one parent is not able to live up to the expectations or standards set by the other parents. Similarly, non-resident parents sometimes feel that they must compete with their children’s other parent when it comes to buying presents. When one parent is spending a large amount of money on expensive gifts, or taking the children on a holiday, the other parent may feel that they cannot offer the same amount. This can lead to a sense of negativity, as parents may feel like they have let their children down if they cannot afford to compete with their former partner. Our family law specialists recommend that you co-ordinate with the other parent to ensure you do not buy the same presents and in fact you can both buy gifts which will benefit the children.
Where parents are unable to see their children on Christmas day our family experts suggest you make arrangements to plan an early or late Christmas which could take place either on Christmas eve or boxing day. This allows the festivities to be enjoyed by both parents as well as the children who can have a double celebration which will also provide them with more happiness rather than not seeing both parents. It is important that you remember that family time with children can be enjoyed on any day and you do not need a special occasion to shower your love on your children.
If you are not able to reach an agreement on taking your child away on holiday over Christmas then you may want to seek advice from a family lawyer in York or specialist.
We understand that some parents may not be able to spend any time with their children due to a recent separation or a separation which has caused damage to a stable family life. It is easy to get caught up in the hype of Christmas and the pressure for everyone to enjoy the festive period. Try to remove your emotional attachment to the day itself. Hold Christmas early, or late and regardless of when you spend time with your children it will still be special.
Remember a new year is fast approaching and you will not feel this way forever. You have the opportunity to resolve any differences and instead on focusing on what has happened this time focus on the year ahead and plan in advance.
If you will not get the chance to see your children on Christmas Day, and will be alone, see if you can make arrangements with your friends. If anyone close to you is in the same situation, why not organise to see them or invite them round for lunch so that you will not be by yourself.
You are not alone during this difficult and emotional time. We are just a call away. If you are worried about not being able to see your children over the festive and holiday period following your divorce or separation, contact our family lawyers in Newcastle us on 0191 814 1000 so we can assist in trying making child contact arrangements that will work for you or let us call you back. Did you know we also have offices in York, Northampton, Oxford, and London so you can never too far from accessing us services.
We are a team of family law and divorce experts with years of experience in dealing with all areas of family law matters.
We are not part of a firm of Solicitors, do not undertake legal reserved actives unless permitted and are therefore entirely independent.
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